Unbreakable Woman Blog

Yesterday, a spectacular national headline news story crawled it’s way across every morning news network. A parents worst nightmare… a young girl in mortal danger… an evil-doer with a sadistic plan…

This story, however, didn’t end like most seem to. The little girl in this story saved her own life. Her success plan? Quick thinking and some good old fashioned stubbornness.

A young man abducted this 9 year-old girl on her way home from school in Southern Colorado. His vehicle broke down and a passer-by picked up the pair on the side of the road and drove them to a convenience station. Once they arrived, the little girl ran inside and got the man behind the counter to let her make a phone call “to her Uncle”. She called 9-1-1.

When the abductor tried to get her to leave with him, she stood her ground and declared, “I ain’t going nowhere. I’m waiting for my momma.” At which point, her abductor turned tail and fled. Shortly there after, he was very quickly captured and arrested.

Beyond the excellent outcome of this story, it’s a touchstone for every woman who thinks she isn’t strong enough to defend herself. I believe each of us has everything we need to defend ourselves already within us. Intuition and protective instincts. We use it for our children but shrug when it comes to using our gifts to keep ourselves safe.

This story is a glowing example of how we don’t need any special training to save our own lives. Just a willingness to listen to our gut and take action.

Stay frosty Ladies.

People often ask me, “How can a self defense class not teach any physical skills?” I love this question. I always answer with a question: What is the point of self defense classes? To learn skills. Why are we so driven to learn these skills? Because we are afraid. How do these skills help us? They increase our confidence. The more confident we are, the less afraid we are. This is universal, it applies to EVERYTHING.

This is the invaluable piece of the puzzle. Reducing fear.

“Victims” are always afraid of something, naturally they continue to attract circumstances that further victimize them. Confident people aren’t generally on the radar of those who would seek to harm or take advantage of another.

If the key to safety is fear reduction, who says that physical skills are the only way to get there? I believe there are many different ways to increase your confidence and stop living under the unnecessary burden of victimhood.

The idea is simple but the process can be complicated. The first step is to cast of the identity of victim, no matter what has happened to you, and adopt the title of survivor. This is a much more powerful place to live from. Victims get victimized. Survivors survive.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter who did what to whom, who’s right and wrong. The only thing worthy of your attention is how to get on with your life, move forward and make yourself happy.

Want to make the world a better place? Better yourself and the world will change around you.

What’s the first thing we say to each other when we greet one another? If it’s been more than a couple of weeks, we run through the gambit of social programming, “You look great! I love your hair. Have you lost weight?”

So what? Don’t we all want to be skinny, pretty and well coifed? Sure, if your letting advertisers and the media lease space in your brain. These innocent assumptions are at the very heart of our corrosive, infantilizing culture that would have every woman teetering on platform wedges as she makes her way from the gym to the salon to ensure her value in the world.

It’s one thing to have confidence in and enjoy your appearance. It’s quite another to live under the assumption that if you don’t fit into a very narrow and generally unattainable level of physical appearance, you are a less valuable and desirable person.

It starts when we’re girls. When we meet girls and young women our first urge is to lob a volley of socially programmed niceties, “Well, aren’t you pretty, I love your dress, your hair is beautiful.” Why shouldn’t she believe that these qualities are of the utmost importance? Enter television, movies, magazines and the cycle continues.

It’s EASY to unconsciously contribute to the cultural distractions that efficiently separate us from our power. It’s HARD to stop that impulse to compliment looks, weight etc. but we must begin to focus on more healthy conversations immediately.

Personal strength and empowerment are linked to self-esteem. Let’s promise to engage our young girls in a conversation about what they’re interested in and let them teach us a thing or two. Help them come to see that their value is inherent.

Enter a new world where all girls are encouraged to pursue their passions, not their tan lines.