Unbreakable Woman Blog

Tips and tools to help all women speak with confidence, stay in their power no matter where they are or what the circumstances are, and create resolution and peace around them. I use true stories about life in LA as a teaching tool for awareness and compassion.

Your Unbreakable Life Starts Now.

Gutsy Girls R Us

It happened again. But this time, it was actually captured on surveillance cameras. A young girl, around 8 years old, was shopping with her family in a Target store. When she became separated from them, it opened the door for an opportunist who had been following her. He picked her up and tried to run away with her. The cameras caught the miraculous escape.

She fought with everything she had. Kicking, yelling, making a scene. Eventually, this much larger person put her down and took off.

Criminals want an easy mark. They don’t want a fight. Even unskilled resistance, if sustained for usually no more than a minute or two, will result in the criminal giving up.

Think puffer fish. A little fish. A cute fish actually. So cute it earned the nickname “hamster of the sea”. But don’t scare the hamster. It will blow up to more than three times it’s size, like a balloon, covered in unappetizing spikes. Even when the most terrifying, toothy shark tries to devour a puffer fish, it gets an unexpected surprise that results in being spit out.

Naturally, we don’t want to ever have to deploy our spikes. But never forget that you have them and they work.

9 Year Old Super Hero

Yesterday, a spectacular national headline news story crawled it’s way across every morning news network. A parents worst nightmare… a young girl in mortal danger… an evil-doer with a sadistic plan…

This story, however, didn’t end like most seem to. The little girl in this story saved her own life. Her success plan? Quick thinking and some good old fashioned stubbornness.

A young man abducted this 9 year-old girl on her way home from school in Southern Colorado. His vehicle broke down and a passer-by picked up the pair on the side of the road and drove them to a convenience station. Once they arrived, the little girl ran inside and got the man behind the counter to let her make a phone call “to her Uncle”. She called 9-1-1.

When the abductor tried to get her to leave with him, she stood her ground and declared, “I ain’t going nowhere. I’m waiting for my momma.” At which point, her abductor turned tail and fled. Shortly there after, he was very quickly captured and arrested.

Beyond the excellent outcome of this story, it’s a touchstone for every woman who thinks she isn’t strong enough to defend herself. I believe each of us has everything we need to defend ourselves already within us. Intuition and protective instincts. We use it for our children but shrug when it comes to using our gifts to keep ourselves safe.

This story is a glowing example of how we don’t need any special training to save our own lives. Just a willingness to listen to our gut and take action.

Stay frosty Ladies.

Physical Resistance Is Not Required

This phrase should be familiar to all American women. It is the crucial element in the definition of rape that has plagued women since 1929. The FBI insisted that if a woman did not resist, she was not raped. But everything changed on January 7th, 2012. Thanks to Joe Biden, the author of the Violence Against Women Act and the tireless efforts many women’s advocate organizations, the FBI was delivered from the Stone Age into the Modern Age.

Will this change how rape is prosecuted?

No.

So why is this so important?

Because it allows more rape survivors to be COUNTED. Increased Statistics = Increased Money Allocation.

Now that organizations like National Center for Injury Prevention and Control and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention can more accurately count these crimes against women, the reporting will more accurately reflect the prevalence of these crimes. The higher the numbers, the bigger the problem, the more money gets allocated for prevention, education, survivor assistance and support.

This is all good news. To read the complete article about this positive step forward toward equality for women go to:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/courts-law/us-scraps-8-decades-old-fbi-definition-of-rape-to-count-more-people-as-victims-including-men/2012/01/07/gIQAEhoZgP_story.html

Slowly but surely, when survivors are ready to stand in the light of their truth and bring their abusers out of the shadows, the cycle of violence slows.

The Punch Is Moot

People often ask me, “How can a self defense class not teach any physical skills?” I love this question. I always answer with a question: What is the point of self defense classes? To learn skills. Why are we so driven to learn these skills? Because we are afraid. How do these skills help us? They increase our confidence. The more confident we are, the less afraid we are. This is universal, it applies to EVERYTHING.

This is the invaluable piece of the puzzle. Reducing fear.

“Victims” are always afraid of something, naturally they continue to attract circumstances that further victimize them. Confident people aren’t generally on the radar of those who would seek to harm or take advantage of another.

If the key to safety is fear reduction, who says that physical skills are the only way to get there? I believe there are many different ways to increase your confidence and stop living under the unnecessary burden of victimhood.

The idea is simple but the process can be complicated. The first step is to cast of the identity of victim, no matter what has happened to you, and adopt the title of survivor. This is a much more powerful place to live from. Victims get victimized. Survivors survive.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter who did what to whom, who’s right and wrong. The only thing worthy of your attention is how to get on with your life, move forward and make yourself happy.

Want to make the world a better place? Better yourself and the world will change around you.

Step Away From The Penis

The ultimate revenge fantasy: Cut off the “tool of betrayal” and put it down the disposal. As appealing as that might be to women who are in the throes of full-tilt scorn, we must take this back alley, punitive surgery off the table. It’s the equivalent of blaming the gun, not the murderer who pulled the trigger.

I’m not intimating that we should do nothing. There are many ways to bring our betrayers to justice without having to go to jail nor turning our anger into a media carnival. We all have the capacity to perpetrate heinous acts of violent brutality upon those who wronged us. It’s natural. But that behavior is reserved for those with no moral center, who veer and crash into sociopathic psychosis. It’s for people who belong in small, cement rooms wearing ill fitting jumpsuits.

Before we go pointing our dainty fingers away from ourselves when conflict arrises, we also need to consider if and how we contributed to the problem before it blossomed into a major league crisis. When we do that, it is much less volatile because we can see our part and know that it takes two to have a proper argument.

In the rare event that you were with one of these sociopaths who conned you out of your money, house and love, engage the justice system but have faith in Karma. Trust me when I tell you the forces of nature have a way of restoring balance where there is imbalance. And if your so inclined, you’ll probably get to watch.